“Just Sayin’…” By Doug deGrood

By The Minneapolis Egotist / /

By Doug deGrood

If you’re like me, you’ve probably been asking yourself, “Where have all the great ad taglines gone?” No? Well, you clearly do not watch as much television as I do. But go with me on this one.

Of course, we can all recite the classics:
“Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.”
BMW, “The Ultimate Driving Machine.”
Kentucky Fried Chicken, “Finger lickin’ good.”
“Every kiss begins with Kay.”
“Nothing runs like a Deere.”

But it’s hard to recall anything memorable in recent times. Or, if we do remember them, it’s for all the wrong reasons—being cryptic, or unintelligible, or just plain stupid. I’ll give you a few examples:

Hilton, “For the stay.”  What am I missing here? I mean, I get that one “stays” in a hotel when travelling, but beyond that, what is Hilton trying to get at? Unless there’s some alternate meaning of stay which I’m unaware, this just seems incredibly flat-footed. Granted, it is shorter than, “Hilton…For when you need a place to stay,” but I would hope Hilton aspires to be more than just a crash pad. I can’t imagine Kroger saying, “Kroger…For the food.” Or “Geico…For the insurance.”

Then there’s LensCrafters, which needs more than its eyes checked for giving the world “Because sight.” Seriously? Do I even need to explain how bad this is? Unless it was written by the Geico caveman, there’s no excuse for this level of stupidity. Thankfully, it was retired almost as quickly as it was employed.

Then there’s the litany of advertisers that use nouns as verbs, or as I call them, “nerbs,” and—equally deplorable—adjectives as nouns. (I haven’t coined a name for that one yet, but feel free to pitch one to me.) “Change the way you pizza.” “Here’s to those who Wisconsin.” As I mentioned in an Egotist post earlier this year, this is not how you grammar, people! It’s a slippery slope that leads to our language becoming bastardized to the point where only a handful of English Lit flunkies understand it.

But alas, my plaintive cries have fallen on deaf ears. If anything, the situation has gotten worse. Check out this Nerbs Wall of Shame:

“Let’s merry” (Starbucks)
“Celebrate your extraordinary” (Sephora)
“Tonight we Tanqueray.”
“Let’s tonic.” (Also from Tanqueray. These guys need an intervention.)
“This is how we Vegas.”
“This is how you Sonic.”

Is there an echo in here? The whole point of a tagline is to be unique, ownable. These are anything but—they’re the very definition of formulaic. I have a hard time believing clients are asking for this. “Hey, agency, we were thinking it would really help our brand stand out if we had a tagline just like _____________. The worse the grammar, the better!”  Or is this the ad industry convincing long-in-the-tooth brand managers, “I know it’s stupid, and you know it’s stupid, but the kids, hey, they LOVE this stuff!”

Thankfully, there have been a few notable exceptions this year. Ireland Tourism is in the running for my own personal tagline of the year. Back in the ‘90s, they gave us the brilliant line, “Ireland, Ancient birthplace of good times.” And recently they penned the equally brilliant “Fill your heart with Ireland.” Now there’s a tagline with, well, heart. (If you’ve ever been to Ireland, you know this line is a perfect bullseye.)

Jeep, “There’s only one.” Now that’s saying something. And it’s true.  I give it an A-.
Home Depot, “Where Doers Get More Done.” Well said. B+.
Walmart, “Save money. Live better.”  Totally works, and thank you for not being cryptic. I give it a solid B.

With 2025 just around the corner, perhaps a new year’s resolution is in order for the ad industry: No more “nerbs” or cryptic or otherwise unintelligible forms of bad grammar. Instead, challenge yourselves to dig deep and get at the truth of a brand, or at least make sense. It might require additional time and toil, but that’s a small price to pay. So come on, just do it!

Just sayin’…

Comments

  1. Joni Bloom December 24, 2024

    Don’t know what possessed me to click the link off Linked-In. Glad I did. Wonderful to hear the voice of one my
    Favorite copywriters hitting on some of my marketing pet peeves.
    Was there a comedian who said something like , “ You can’t fix stupid.”
    Good stuff Doug. You’ve still got it.

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